A little while ago, I wrote about my breakup with Mikal and how it was really getting the best of me. I'm not even going to try and pretend like it hasn't been really bringing me down. On top of that situation, I've really pulled away from a lot of people. I haven't really TALKED about all the feelings I have except to a few people and mostly, I feel like I really don't have many people who are willing to listen because they CARE. It's hard. I really feel.. alone.
Last night, my sister sent me a picture of her nightly devotion that was JUST what I needed. It said "Therefore, rejoice on those days when you drag yourself out of bed, feeling sluggish and inadequate. Tell yourself that this is a perfect day to depend on Me in childlike trust." .. that was it.. I haven't been depending on God. All along I've been searching for someone to listen to me, let me cry to them, just be there for me and I haven't once sat down and honestly opened up to God. I've said some generic prayers at night before bed but I hadn't actually OPENED up to God and let HIM be the one to listen to me + let me cry. Instead of been focusing on the fact that I felt like I had no one to listen to me, I should have realized before last night that God IS ALWAYS there for me. God was and IS that person I've been needing, I just wasn't allowing Him to be that person for me.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."